A View of success (from the Porthole window)

Watching the sunrise from my cabin window somewhere in the mediterranean

Spending this summer in the French Riviera working for a multi billionaire
I’m surrounded by glitz, glamour, and what most people might consider “success.”
I watch as hoards of tourists come in from the cruise ships, posing in front of
the Aston Martin’s and the Rolls Royce parked outside the yachts, dreaming of
trading in their normal life for the lifestyles of the rich and famous. I’ll
admit, back when I was doing Real Estate and trying to earn my “millionaire
status” I tore out the pictures in Robb Report and posted them on my wall as a
way to motivate and inspire myself. Even now, I sometimes find myself drooling
over some of the clothes and purses I unpack for the boss’s daughter (until I
realize a single item would cost as much as a mortgage payment back home.) It
has really made me think in terms of success, and what defines whether you are,
or you are not.

Port of Monaco, my home base for the summer

Shortly after I turned 30, I got into a fight with the captain that I worked
for on my first yacht. Doors were slammed, suit cases were packed, and many
harsh words were exchanged. Normally the old saying “words will never hurt me”
have kept me from taking what anyone says too seriously, especially a man who
barely knows me and whose motive at that moment was to get me to want to leave.
But even after apologies were made and the suitcases were put away, the words
lingered like a sharp rock in the bottom of my shoe. “You’re a thirty year old
failure!!!” They struck a nerve in me that I couldn’t seem to shake off, and
part of me began to wonder if maybe he was right.

Irresponsible? I could accept that. I’ll admit to having my share of unpaid
debts and creditors trying to track me down for the sake of trying to build a
business. Immature? If there was a female version of Peter Pan I would be her.
While most women my age have steady careers, a mortgage and a few kids by now,
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not quite ready to give up my childlike
freedom and “grow up.” But a failure? I don’t think anyone likes hearing that
word, and even more people are afraid of becoming it. Maybe that’s why so many
people live their lives according to the parameters that someone else has placed
for them, instead of living a life by their own design.

I pondered over this for a few days to the point of exhaustion. Here I was,
half way around the world, away from my family and friends and basically all
that is familiar and comfortable. In terms of monetary success, I didn’t have
much except what I had made working on the boat so far, and material possessions
all had either been liquidated or put into storage. Sure, if you were to look at
my assets on paper, I would be on the opposite end of the scale compared to the
Bill Gates and Oprah Winfreys of the world, maybe even some other thirty year
olds. But weren’t some of the greatest men in history at one time regarded as
failures? How many times did Abraham Lincoln run for president before he was
finally elected? How many attempts did Thomas Edison fail at before that light
bulb was finally invented?

I remember reading somewhere that “success is the progressive realization of
a worthy ideal.” If I were to break things down in terms of that definition,
then really just the very thought of me being on that yacht…somewhere off the
coast of Croatia….even with all the wreckage and turmoil that I was supposedly
causing, was a success. I had made the goal to begin traveling. I worked my ass
off so that I could find a way to make it happen NOW (instead of when I had my
million dollars) worked even harder still once I got on the yacht (and yes, I
did fumble around a bit like Bambi, breaking many things in my path much to the
dismay of the poor engineer.) But even despite my failures, (which really came
down to a matter of learning a new job) I still finished the season, was able to
travel to 15 countries on my own for the next 6 months, and even gave my dad a
chance to travel with me and find relatives in Poland he had never met.
(Something I had set as a goal doing Real Estate but had not been able to
accomplish until then.)

Me and Dad together in Krakow Poland

So what is my point to all of this, besides trying to build my battered self
esteem back up, and make me feel better about getting older? Oh
yes….yachts….money…..Timex…..right. Success to me is finding a goal, whatever it
is that makes YOU happy (not for the approval of those around you, yes even
small little beady eyed captains) reaching for that goal, no matter how hard or
long it takes, and celebrating the small victories along the way. If the end
result happens to also mean a fridge full of Don Perignon (which really doesn’t
taste that great in my humble opinion) a jumbo jet, and whatever else your
little heart desires, as long as you are HAPPY and fulfilled and living your
life to the fullest potential, (and maybe helping a few other people in the
process) then you my friend have found success. And as a very wise man once said
to me, “Success is nothing sure I’ve cried, it’s failure that will win when
nothings tried.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks Dad.

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2 responses to “A View of success (from the Porthole window)”

  1. Larry Wright says :

    You make me so proud. It’s hard to accept any credit for how our children turn out. If we can accept that we, as parents, contributed to the ‘good’ then it might be that we have to accept credit for the ‘not so good’. But all of that is what I love in all of my children and I accept that they are doing it themselves. As I read these blogs, beautifully written I might add, I do so with a tear in my eye. “Man is that he might have joy” is a quote that comes to mind. Finding uplifting ways to be happy is my defination of success and some poor people I’ve known have understood that concept far better than many of the wealthy. Happiness is something that happens now, and isn’t a plan for the furure. It has nothing to do with wordly status or financial wealth. An unhappy poor man will become an unhappy wealthy man given the chance. Happiness is a choice we make as clearly as the choice of clothes we wear for the day. Choose to be happy today and you’ll have a successful day and you will make me proud.

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